Heavenly Topics Gifts

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

Airports.

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

"I opted for the upgrades."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

Cherub string quartets

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Your angel is always with you

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

'He seems nice.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

'The last thing I remember is something about a 'once in a lifetime' offer.'

"I have a rich and generous son who wants to contribute to the heavenly fund."

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

Sign on the Pearly Gates: Now Hiring.