Heavenly Topics Pillows

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

Airports.

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

"I opted for the upgrades."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

Your angel is always with you

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Cherub string quartets

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

'He seems nice.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

'The last thing I remember is something about a 'once in a lifetime' offer.'

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"I have a rich and generous son who wants to contribute to the heavenly fund."

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'