Heavenly Narratives Pillows

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Ok, ok, last page.

"I don't see HIS name on it."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

Airports.

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"I opted for the upgrades."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

Your angel is always with you

Two by two.

Cherub string quartets

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

'He seems nice.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Gods has caged angel as pet.

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

Sign on the Pearly Gates: Now Hiring.

'The last thing I remember is something about a 'once in a lifetime' offer.'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

Some other sins you may enjoy.

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

'But how did you lose your harp?'

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'