Heavenly Smoker Gifts

Designated Smoking Area

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"But what if this is all there is?"

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

God passing the time.

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

The Assumption of Mary

Angel Swing

'I'm new here...how can you tell the real 'Elvis' from the impersonators?'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

We have some good news and we have some very good news!

Angel with a halo nose piercing.

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Just before The Big Bang

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

Heavenly Take Out

"I always wondered what it would be like to sleep on a cloud."

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

Visual Gag / A man in Heaven replacing the AAA batteries for his halo

"He's very proud of his stomach's 'good bacteria'."