Happy Smoker Gifts

A smoker's smoke turns into the contrail of a plane.

Professional woman in pub

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

Nature is not perfect

'Hey man that's a gas!'

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

Man offers coffee with smoke.

Sergei Rachmaninov

"It's for you."

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'

"I really love grandma and all, but she stinks of vape."

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

'I don't understand why people say I'm having trouble quitting.'

'You know, I wouldn't mind all this fiber if I could smoke it.'

No Smoking.

"Excuse me, is this a smoking area?"

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

'Let me get this straight. Your nicotine patch back fired on you?'

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

"I'm thinking of giving up social media. . . shouldn't be too difficult, I did quit smoking in the noughties."

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

'Yes, it is a romantic moon, Peter, but do you have to use my navel as an ash tray?'

No Smoking Building.

'Hey, pal - got a light?'