Frugal Smoker Gifts

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Cheapskate Cruises

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"Is that neat whisky?"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Food prices.

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'What do you mean when you say we're going to have to start economizing on groceries, Lance?'

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

'Hey man that's a gas!'

Produce Market. Sale. Ernie, I heard you call them "cheap dates" the first time.

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

We'll pass on the entrees...

Generic Products

'What wine goes well with a limited expense account?'