Frugal Traveler Gifts

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

It really bugs you when some other business is cheaper than you. Not cheaper, more efficient. This nation is build on competition. Investors put their money into the most efficient business. If airlines can charge captive passengers for coffee and water and pillows, they've set a new standard. The floodgates are open. Hence you celebration hat. I stole it from a little kid.

Loans. Oh, I live within my income, but surely you don't expect me to vacation there!

Travel Advisor: 'Our needs are simple - I want somewhere warm , and he wants anywhere tipping is prohibited!'

'I don't care how many times we have to circle the building! I'm not turning the car in until we've used up all the gas I paid for.'

Really Cheap Hotels.

'No way I'm buying a first class ticket just to get a club soda!'

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

'Hi - I'm on the train, because I can't afford to get in it.'

'You know Jim's got to find another way to avoid the outrageous fares.'

Gas Prices.

'-or for fifty quid I can arrange for you to stow away'

"Because of gas prices, there's been a slight change in our vacation plans..."

Excess Baggage: Check the prices of the items in the hotel mini-bar before treating yourself to a feast.

Cheapskate Cruises

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Expensive greeting cards.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"