Frugal Wanderer Gifts

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cheapskate Cruises

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

How to do without

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"