Budget Wanderer Gifts

"Your ticket was $340, but the flight is extra."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'He must be going economy!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'