Budget Travel Warrior Gifts

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

World's cheapest car

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Airline Mergers.

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

Basic economy

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Europe on $5000 a day.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess