Budget Travel Warrior Pillows

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'He must be going economy!'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

World's cheapest car

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Europe on $5000 a day.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Basic economy