Budget Travel Buff Pillows

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'He must be going economy!'

Be open to help.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"Oh, it was lovely down there. Two golf courses, miles of unspoiled beaches, an air of quiet elegance..."

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Western Outfitters.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cheapskate Cruises

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'That last hill was a bit steep!'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

Pamplona Station

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.