Frugal Smoker Pillows

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Cheapskate Cruises

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Is that neat whisky?"

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Food prices.

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

Generic Products

We'll pass on the entrees...

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

'Hey man that's a gas!'

'What wine goes well with a limited expense account?'

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.