Frugal Spender Pillows

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cheapskate Cruises

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

"C'mere, space heater."

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

No Frills Psychiatrist.

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

Loans - 'We were thinking of paying a gas bill.'