Smart Spender Pillows

"I'm not getting a flat-screen TV til something better comes along."

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

"I saved a bundle on vacation by shipping myself around the world first class."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

Spiralling inflation

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

Building society, savers rates -"Well, what shall we do with the interest, leave it in or withdraw it and buy a pot of tea for two?"

'If we had eaten at home,we would have saved $48.75 and we wouldn't have had to sit on the floor!'

'Still glad you sprung for the 84-inch flat panel?'

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. IX and X

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!