Smart Spender T-Shirts

"I'm not getting a flat-screen TV til something better comes along."

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

"I saved a bundle on vacation by shipping myself around the world first class."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

'Just because I'm a doctor without borders doesn't mean I venture into menus without prices.'

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

Spiralling inflation

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

Building society, savers rates -"Well, what shall we do with the interest, leave it in or withdraw it and buy a pot of tea for two?"

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

'If we had eaten at home,we would have saved $48.75 and we wouldn't have had to sit on the floor!'

'At least, we'll save the money for the Christmas presents.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. IX and X

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'