Heavenly Joker Pillows

'This is heaven... of course you can continue your subscription to Playboy.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pole Star

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

An amplified harp

"See how it feels"

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'Golly, is it that time already?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

Eucharist

Climbing to the moon

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Whoops!'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Customer complains about an asteroid in his food.

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Entanglement meets string theory."

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

So that's what they mean by the "vacuum of space"! Vvrrrrr. WHOOSH!