Humanitarian Joker Pillows

"Sanctuary yes, asylum no."

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

Candid Camera store.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Shoes Make The Man

Caution May Contain Nuts.

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

'It's your four basic food groups.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'