Heavenly Joker Gifts

'This is heaven... of course you can continue your subscription to Playboy.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pole Star

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

An amplified harp

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"See how it feels"

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Climbing to the moon

Eucharist

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Customer complains about an asteroid in his food.

'Whoops!'

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Entanglement meets string theory."

Wind Warning on the moon.

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."