Heavenly Jokes Lover Gifts

"Welcome and here is your ear and arm back."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

The Adventures of God

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"All we have left is standing room only."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

Local News in Heaven