Heavenly Humor Lover Gifts

'How would you rate the treatment you received from your HMO? Poor, fair, good, excellent?'

"Sorry, your wings are still on back-order."

'Go ahead and get a lawyer, but where do you think you'll find one around here?'

Just before The Big Bang

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

"They're not taking any chances, we have to wait two weeks to get in."

"You were a veterinarian? Would you take a look at my left wing?"

"Let's be reasonable. Just approve my client, and we'll all be spared a lot of nasty litigation."

"Somehow I thought it would be different up here."

'We've always used profiling.'

'Do these wings make my bum look big?'

Gambling in Heaven - Losing your halo.

'You dance divinely!'

'You know, predestination would speed things up a little on judgement day.'

Angels flock to a bird-feeder.

'I was innocent.'

'This outfit...does it only come in this color?'

"He's very proud of his stomach's 'good bacteria'."

Angel to overweight angel, 'You're going to have to lose some weight, Wilson.'

'Oh my god.'

'Make it threescore and ten, or we'll end up with a big Social Security crisis.'

"...I only have one problem. I'm allergic to feathers!"

"And finally, we have about two billion Thank God it's Friday proclamations."

Visual Gag / A man in Heaven replacing the AAA batteries for his halo

"It's cool, but you kinda miss the trumpet fanfare, right?"Sign: "WELCOME JOSH!"

Heaven Has VIP

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

'I can never find my ball!'

"He was 'once blind, but now he can see'. Except now after seeing how his wife looks, he wishes he was blind again."

'My horoscope said I'd have a heavenly day.'

"Well I wouldn't have to embarrass myself like this if they just gave us robes with pockets!"

"You're lucky that your parents donated a building to Heaven."

"I don't know why they checked us for coronavirus at the gate. We're already dead."

"We are only accepting bipartisans at this time."