Heavenly Humor Enthusiast Gifts

The original writers block

'I have no idea how you died, we don't have access to your medical records."

Insurance agents in Heaven.

"You had more money than God. That's a big no-no."

"How did you hear about us?"

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'Oh... I always thought it was just an allegory...'

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

"User name and password?"

'This used to take hours.'

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'

"If I had it to do over again I definitely wouldn't have been cremated."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"I have faithfully made all my mortgage repayments."

'What's the wi-fi like?'

'Let's not be difficult about this, Mr. Pettigrew.'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Angels watch hell on a flatscreen.

'I could re-design that for you.'

'And you say you died a virgin! That's a sin!'

'Any chance of plea bargaining?'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"It says here that you gave a lot of money to both parties and neither expected nor received anything in return. Very nice, but we'll have to put you in the crazy section."

'Even if you were always Mother's little angel, I still have to look it up.'

Hey get this - Ralph here was a lawyer!

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

'Ms White, you'd better cancel all my appointments for today, something's come up."

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

'You're being too hard on yourself. No one's perfect - aside from you.'

'I'm here on probation.'

"And here are those family photos you thought you lost in the cloud."

'Anything good on tonight?'