Heat Hater Gifts

'My A/C is broken.'

Wax Museum - Please do not touch the thermostat.

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the heat..."

Good News about winter

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Habanero ..."

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

Confucius say: shut up.

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

'See you later - Remember to drink plenty of liquids.'

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

Jose's Hot Tamale: Rekindle that fire in the belly.

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

But, mom, I don't want to go to summer camp!

Tomorrow's Special: Flavored Whole Milk

"What? No Vanilla?"

'The pilgrim kids had corn pudding. We have pumpkin pie. I guess parents have always tried to pass vegetables off as dessert.'

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'

Bacon Makes Everything Better/Raisins Make Everything Worse

"This is the first time I've been in Arizona."

Food Court. Hey, a "food court"! Let's go file a lawsuit about Brussels Sprouts!

"You complain about the language, the food, the heat, the insects, so why do you insist on coming back year after year?"

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

"It's not the heat or the humidity. It's the self-recrimination over not finding a way to get out of the city this summer."

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'

My New Year's resolution? To no longer suffer in silence. I will moan, whimper, and complain until you resolve to get the heater fixed.

'And someone's been eating my dinner. But I notice they've left the bloody side-serving of sprouts!'

Crisp New England Air.

Pre-emptive strike against brussels sprouts.

Man lost in desert, sign reads: Caution Sun Glare next 200 miles.