Heat Haters Gifts

Crisp New England Air.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"Habanero ..."

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

'See you later - Remember to drink plenty of liquids.'

Jose's Hot Tamale: Rekindle that fire in the belly.

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

Tomorrow's Special: Flavored Whole Milk

But, mom, I don't want to go to summer camp!

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"What? No Vanilla?"

'The pilgrim kids had corn pudding. We have pumpkin pie. I guess parents have always tried to pass vegetables off as dessert.'

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

"You complain about the language, the food, the heat, the insects, so why do you insist on coming back year after year?"

"This is the first time I've been in Arizona."

"Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the heat..."

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'

Bacon Makes Everything Better/Raisins Make Everything Worse

'At least it's a dry heat'

SPF-30 Sunscreen Lotion

"It was heaven before this."

"A dry heat - no problem. But this humidity."

"It's not the heat or the humidity. It's the self-recrimination over not finding a way to get out of the city this summer."

My New Year's resolution? To no longer suffer in silence. I will moan, whimper, and complain until you resolve to get the heater fixed.

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

"You know I hate queues, let's wait for the next one."

'I refuse to accept that it's really winter until the very last leaf's fallen from the trees'

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."