Heartfelt Golfers Gifts

Golf Lovers

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Kissing on the golf course

"Would you like Daddy to tend the pin?"

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

"Sigh! No boating today." "For? Damn!" "Okay, prep her. Oh, and cancel my tee time." "How elective surgery really works."

On particularly buggy days, Carl wore his citronella candle cap.

'He's worth his weight in lost balls.'

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

Too many beers at lunch?

Golfer couple just married

Smooching on the Golf Course.

Just married.

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

Divining Oil

"First our jobs. Now they're coming for our leisure."

Golfing Romance

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

"I'd like to take it for a test drive."

'You made that divot deliberately.'

Golf on the moon

Golf Balls $1 Vending Machine

"Maybe we need different types of clubs for different types of situations."

Golfer crying over the grave of a sandwedge

'Remember 'be the ball'.' 'I am the ball. But apparently, I'm a devious, misguided, malevolent ball.'

He lived and died for golf.

Tiger out of Woods

'So, come here often?'

"And for those who plan to play golf today, remember the Third and Ninth Commandments."

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"