Golf Tragic Gifts

Golfer crying over the grave of a sandwedge

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

"Misery, torment, N.Y. football"

Hole in forty-seven.

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

"You have achieved Nirvana, Mr. Harper, and a bad case of tennis knee."

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

Watch your language.

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

Golfing Accident

Putting on ice

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

Golf Lovers

Bah Humbug!

Books. Ernest Hemingway Festival. Did you read Hemingway's book "Across the River and Into the Trees"? No. I didn't even know he played golf.

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

'I'll be there in a minute! They're on the last hole!'

"I'll comeback to rescue you after I find my ball."

'Wow! That's some sexy looking club you've got there!'

'And now time for operation: Hit golf balls into windows!'

"I used the credit card that replaces lost merchandise."

'I thought you said you were just popping out for a couple of hours in the nets?'

'My husband has been practicing his golf swing all winter.'

Women Golfers.

3 pictures 1)golfer swinging 2) ball hits tree and hits golfer 3) golfer calls out "Fore!"

'He's a stupid golfer who ignored repeated shouts of 'fore.' Go ahead and play it where it lies!'

"And then there's timing."

You'll knock 'em dead at that outdoor sports event this weekend.