Emotional Golfer Gifts

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

Saving a Heart

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'

Golfing with God.

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

A Lovely Afternoon of Crazy Golf

Thanks God!

Let's see, that is one..two..three shots into the water.

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

Too many beers at lunch?

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

Smooching on the Golf Course.

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

Farmer Golf

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

Golfing Romance

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

By subjecting himself to increasingly higher jolts of electricity over many months, Tom hoped to become immune to lightning strikes while playing golf.

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

And he sliced and he cursed and his cheating was the worst. I'm not sure golf minstrels are such a good idea.

"Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you ‘a lazy, manipulative drama queen who’s incapable of genuine self-reflection.’"

'You won't need those up here. He can't stand golf.'

'You made that divot deliberately.'

"He missed a hole-in-one by an inch and a half."

'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'

Angler to fish coming out of 'Sensitivity Training': 'Okay, next time I'll give you one of those tasty, live nightcrawlers.'