Emotional Athlete Gifts

"Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you ‘a lazy, manipulative drama queen who’s incapable of genuine self-reflection.’"

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Saving a Heart

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Prawn Amend

Wrestling Our Inner Demons

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'I think you need to work on your frontal lobes.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

Counsellor for man on desert island

You gave performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the Team Caffeine Hoops Squad?! Mumble. How could you do that? How could you use artificial substances to make them stronger, faster and better athletes? How could you not give me any of the juice? And thus, driven by competitive zeal, society spun out of control. P.S. - To be continued. Next week: A shocking secret!

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."

Intensive waiting.

"Need hug."

Psychologist has a happy mask on.

Andy Murray

'Let's set aside your rhythm issues for a moment and work on your blues.'

Brain Training

"Yes, this makes sense. I shall find my feelings and punch them."

"Emotionally he's a child and physically he's a child."

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

'I think we'll prescribe daily hugs, mutual pats on the back and an hourly rendition of 'Oh what a beautiful morning...'.'

Cardiology

'When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high...'

What's the best way to break up with someone without hurting their feelings? Why would you want to do that? The whole point of breaking up with someone is to punish them for their shenanigans, their shortcomings, and their carnal incompetence! Why deny yourself satisfaction?! Every time you bring a tear to the eye of a loser, an angel get her wings.

'Something bothering you, Bjornson?'