Nervous Golfer Gifts

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Did you see my ball come by here?'

"At least my putting has improved."

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Let's see, that is one..two..three shots into the water.

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

'Replace divots'

"Don't worry about John. He just went to a hypnotist to improve his game."

"He missed a hole-in-one by an inch and a half."

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'

Golfing Accident

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

'It seemed like a great place to set up shop, in case things won't work out well next door'

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

For sale - used only once.

Books. Ernest Hemingway Festival. Did you read Hemingway's book "Across the River and Into the Trees"? No. I didn't even know he played golf.

'Actually, it's funny you should say that - I'm bored stupid too.'

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

Missing Ball.

"I'm very glad you found a relaxing activity to enjoy during your retirement."

How the mind of a golf ball works.

3 pictures 1)golfer swinging 2) ball hits tree and hits golfer 3) golfer calls out "Fore!"

Golfer thrashing about. The pro looks on and says 'Look, try missing it'.

You'll knock 'em dead at that outdoor sports event this weekend.

'Just like his mood swings.'

Care in the Community Golf