Healthy Self-talker Gifts

'Too expensive, too long, sounds boring, the jacket is lousy...'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"Are you OK hun?"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Complete Makeover

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Client-centered Therapy.

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

Bob begins every day with Tie Chi

Women pro tennis players having a conversation

'Honey, about these motivational notes you've been leaving for yourself...'

"I'm still waiting for an event to justify the kind of money I throw at you."

Scale: You don't want to know.

Of course I talk to myself. It's the only intelligent conversation I have all day.

"Everything goes right to my hips."

"If I leave them in there with a bottle, I can usually get a little time for myself."

'If I didn't have me to talk to, I think I'd go nuts.'

"Wonderful! This way I can go block after block talking to myself and nobody looks at me as if I were crazy."

"I need a good pair of inner voice-cancelling headphones."

'Part of a healthy lifestyle is realizing that the numbers on the scale are completely irrelevant to well being...'

Worm inside Ed's head all alone.

"He is fighting a cold, I think he is ahead on points."

'Why do they call me Gabby? Well it's a long,long,story.'

"Russ is the sort of person who never wants to be alone with his thoughts."

Online dating can be very confusing --- I just spent 20 minutes chatting with myself.

There are days, hours, ........ split seconds, when the world itself wobbles.