Self-talk Gifts

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Window Treatment

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

That party went well.

Cellphone Islands

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"The overthinker"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Is this who I am?"

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

So You've Cloned Yourself

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Giraffe Selfie

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.