Self-talker Gifts

Of course I talk to myself. It's the only intelligent conversation I have all day.

'Buying a cell phone was a great idea! Now I can talk to myself for hours and no one realizes that I am crazy.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

The quarantine self cut.

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

'Too expensive, too long, sounds boring, the jacket is lousy...'

'Hank plays the banjo strictly for his own amusement.'

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"Right now I'm his apostle, but my dream is to someday be my own Messiah."

'We won't need you. I brought my own.'

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

'We really need to start hiring self-starters.'

'Copy and study this list of text message spelling words. We will have test tomorrow.'

'If I didn't have me to talk to, I think I'd go nuts.'

'It's one of the advantages of having your own business.'

"Wonderful! This way I can go block after block talking to myself and nobody looks at me as if I were crazy."

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

Worm inside Ed's head all alone.

"I need a good pair of inner voice-cancelling headphones."

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

'It's better to work for yourself in Hell than to work for someone else in Heaven.'

Dust jackets for people.

'I talk to myself because I'm the only one who LISTENS!'

'In closing, I'd like to quote myself.'