Healthcare Rejectee Gifts

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

worker rejects promotion to protect deniability

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

'Money DOES make me happy.'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Have you considered applying for a job a million mils from here?"

'Did you get the promotion?'

'You mean medical science hasn't come up with a cure for common cooties?'

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

'Trubshaw, your application for the serious crime squad has been rejected!'

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

'Reflexes Normal.'

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

"Not giving up my civil rights."

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

"Well, if you haven't been taking your steroid tablets, what have you been doing with them?"

"It's alright. Just let me know where I can get them."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"