Report Rejector Gifts

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'Money DOES make me happy.'

It's sweet of you to ask, Randy, but I've decided just to rent some Mel Gibson movies instead.

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Publishing

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

"O.K., I admit it. I want out!"

Clancy: Willpower

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

'If there's a pool, we're not interested: We would never use it!'

'I can't marry you, Randy, but I'll follow you on Twitter.'

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."

Computer Hating Service.

Would you like to go out on a date? - 'No.' - 'Oh... are you already seeing someone?' - 'No.' - 'I don't get it...' -

"I can't marry you, Randy, but tell you what -- I'll 'like' you on Facebook!"

"I'm not sure I like this 'Unconventional Couples' reality show."

Sue will you marry me? -Bob. No. -Sue

I hate fast food.