Book Rejecter Gifts

Publishing

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Psst! Hey, kids."

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"By the way, HarperCollins decided your book did not warrant publication."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'Money DOES make me happy.'

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"I've come to judge some books by their cover."

Superhero Rescues Books.

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

"This is a very important book. In fact, it's too important to publish."

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

"This is crazy! Why can't they give us one e-reader with all our school textbooks already on it? That way...I can ignore just one book instead of this whole stack!"

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

"Baldo, when's the last time you read a book?"

'We'd like a book banned in 23 countries, please!'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'

'I needed a lot more house than my husband did.'

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

"Would you read this self-help book to me?"

'I can't marry you, Randy, but I'll follow you on Twitter.'

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."