Rejected Novelist Gifts

"By the way, HarperCollins decided your book did not warrant publication."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The DaVinci Code

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Bookworm Sleepover

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Author does not do tricks."

Sue the Author 3PM

Iris Murdoch

Trilby - 'Je prong!'