Reality Rejecter Gifts

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

'Money DOES make me happy.'

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'

"This is a very important book. In fact, it's too important to publish."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Man with blinkers on

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

Throwing Away Music

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'The 2 minute hate.'

'I've got nothing against those shows. . . I just wish I had an IQ low enough to enjoy them.'

'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

'No one likes rejection, Catherine, but you really shouldn't end your sales presentations by saying you're 'really sorry.''

"Every time it comes on I feel like leaving the house."

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

TV screens reads 'Giant Government Database' - 'Oh no! Not more Big Brother.'

'There's so much rubbish on the telly these days.'

'There are two possibilities: the TV is broken or the media has finally disappeared up its own backside.'

"I hate these 'fly-on-the-wall' type documentaries...they're nothing like real life...!"