Reality-avoider Gifts

Man with blinkers on

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Election Cancelling Headphones

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

2016 Policlicks

But doc, my tenuous grasp of reality is what gets me through the day!

'Can you get me in touch with reality without reality getting in touch with me?'

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

'Joyce, you've gotta see this! This 3-D large screen HD TV is amazing!'

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

"At last — no Trump."

"I don't like all the responsibility that comes with my new pompousness."