Reluctant Report Reader Gifts

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

Summer Reading

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'