Rejection Survivor Gifts

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'No one likes rejection, Catherine, but you really shouldn't end your sales presentations by saying you're 'really sorry.''

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Evil Exams!

Editor.

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

'We're in a hurry.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"Recently separated."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'I don't think that it's going to work out between us.'