Rejection Gifts

'I can't marry you, Randy, but I'll follow you on Twitter.'

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

worker rejects promotion to protect deniability

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

'Did you get the promotion?'

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

Learning curve: 'Your book was crap!'

"Have you considered applying for a job a million mils from here?"

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

"This is a very important book. In fact, it's too important to publish."

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

'Trubshaw, your application for the serious crime squad has been rejected!'

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

Publishing

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'I just wrote a novel on this phone and sent it to 137 publishers and got back 129 rejections in 12 seconds.'

Aisling is dismayed by the Board's decision.

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'I didn't pass the audition for the School Choir: They said I had a squeaky voice...'