Romantic Rejection Gifts

". . . If a girl throws your prospectus in the trash, she's not the girl for you."

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"I see Charlie's really smitten with that pretty thing in the flower shop!"

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

A tortoise in love with a cat

Weekend Getaways with Ulrich

This is very sweet, Phil, but no, I don't want to buy a violin from you.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

Lady on balcony dumps musical notes on singer.

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

Manshit

". . . and don't rush it. Don't make the same mistake your grandparents made. We were barely 95 years young when we got talked into marrying and settling down."

She realized with horror that she had settled for Les.

A moose offers a woman flowers while she picks mushrooms.

'No! Romance with malice aforethought!'

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

"Yeah, that's great. Move your head."

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"

'Keep the windows closed. We don't like to encourage office romances.'

'You're afraid of commitment, aren't you, Steven?'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"