Rejection Mugs

'I can't marry you, Randy, but I'll follow you on Twitter.'

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

worker rejects promotion to protect deniability

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

It's sweet of you to ask, Randy, but I've decided just to rent some Mel Gibson movies instead.

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

"Have you considered applying for a job a million mils from here?"

"This is a very important book. In fact, it's too important to publish."

'Did you get the promotion?'

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

Learning curve: 'Your book was crap!'

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'It's an organ rejection form letter!'

'Trubshaw, your application for the serious crime squad has been rejected!'

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

Publishing

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'I didn't pass the audition for the School Choir: They said I had a squeaky voice...'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"