Rejection Survivor Pillows

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'No one likes rejection, Catherine, but you really shouldn't end your sales presentations by saying you're 'really sorry.''

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Evil Exams!

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

Editor.

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'We're in a hurry.'

Ereptile Dysfunction

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"Recently separated."

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."