Health Retreat Enthusiast Gifts

Last chance for junk food...

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

Scurile travels

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

Dieting Motivation.

"Shall I buy you a manual typewriter and break your legs?"

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"Holy moly!"

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

'Rent two 'feel good' movies, and call me in the morning.'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

"It's all down to turmeric!"

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Stresses can have a motivating effect ... If they don't KILL YOU!

Go away

"Are they organic?"

"It's simple. Remove everything from your life that you enjoy, so you can live a long, unenjoyable life."