Health Pun Collector Pillows

"Phew! You're ripe! What's that brown spot?"

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

'If you want a second opinion, come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you the same thing.'

Bell Hop

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"You're as sound as a dollar. I'll order more tests."

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Obstetrics.

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

"The Armour seems okay, it must be a touch of rheumatism."

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

Traffic Lights Medicine

'You're getting a stye.'

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

"Tried a new recipe: Blackberry stew!"

"The biopsy came back benign.....but I still want you to see a tree surgeon."

Innie Outie

Plastic Surgery

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'