Fans Of Health Puns Pillows

'I'm afraid that your irritable bowel syndrome has progressed. you now have a furious and vindictive bowel syndrome.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

Hipness Replacement Surgery.

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

'You're getting a stye.'

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

Miss Twaddle, cancel all my appointments.

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

"Phew! You're ripe! What's that brown spot?"

Plastic Surgery

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."