Health Pun Collector Gifts

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'If you want a second opinion, come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you the same thing.'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"You're as sound as a dollar. I'll order more tests."

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

Bell Hop

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Obstetrics.

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"The Armour seems okay, it must be a touch of rheumatism."

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

Traffic Lights Medicine

'You're getting a stye.'

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

Innie Outie

Plastic Surgery

"The biopsy came back benign.....but I still want you to see a tree surgeon."

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

"Doctor Smith your 12:30 pain in the neck is here."

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'