Health Practitioner Gifts

Vending Machine in Alternative Medicine Clinic

'I'm sorry, next tuesday is out - I,ve got a darts match.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

"There we go. How’d that feel, Frank? … Frank? … Mr. Blume? Oh, no."

GP Convention: 'You're very well, how am I?'

'I'm afraid you're suffering from over-exposure to medical information on the internet. I'm prescribing that you stay offline for a month.'

'Conquer the known world and, er...that's it.'

Herbalist and Himbalist Stores.

Deflated patient with acupuncturist

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..