Health Mystery Seeker T-Shirts

"I don't know what this test is for, so I'm ordering it for yo out of curiosity."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

Paging for a Doctor

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"You call that complementary!?!"

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"You're this age and never had surgery? Aren't you curious?"

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

'You mean that carrying around this heavy weight belly 24 hours a day isn't enoght exercise, doc?!'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'Does my bum look broadband with this?'

"I'd like to see something in a size 6...me!"

No use being self-conscious